so what if I want to do something that I know I shouldn't; something I will regret. Why do I want to do it anyway? What is the driving force?
I know that Paul said, "that which I ought to do I don't and that which I shouldn't I do" (complete paraphrase) -- but is it just human nature? I don't want to fight it but I should... the world says we shouldn't fight human nature -- we can't do anything about it. so it goes.
I think I'll just go to bed.