Anguish

"I am weary with my sighing; every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears." What is the cause of this anguish? the author is pining away, grieving. Since the narrative does not say, could it be an illness? the loss of a loved one? a broken heart? or the recognition of a great wrong caused by the writer?

When I was caught, when my true nature was exposed, I was despondent because I knew that I could not go back and "fix" things. The flaw was readily apparent and there was nothing I could do to erase what had been "written".

Let me paraphrase: I am tired of crying; every night my pillow is soaked with my tears; my couch has irreparable water damage. This is a soul in agony.

Is there resolve?