Friday, March 7, 2008

melancholy

why do I feel like I have to hide who I am? Why do I not want people to see me? I feel as though my privacy is non-existent. That's why I write this and put it up on the internet -- that doesn't really make any sense but I don't think anyone is reading this. This is like being wild at a party when you don't know anyone and you will never see the people ever again. What do I care what you think of me??

I don't know how to explain this but I don't like other people looking at my things. I fear their disapproval -- just like the way I felt last week when my friend objected to my earrings. It feels bad. Why? Why am I so fearful? Is there something deeper? Man I'd like to get over this. So what if my pictures are blurry. So what if you don't like my earrings. Everything I do is not to please you. So what.

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