Sunday, January 20, 2008


I wanted to write while it was still fresh in my memory ...

I keep looking for a formula to be happy, to be productive, to live my life, to be a good person, to be a good Christian. It's not about a formula -- there isn't one. It's about an attitude. How do I get that attitude? There can't be a formula for that either. Do you suppose there's a simple way. A simple solution? I need to find these things through Christ, but I desperately want a formula. Some thing that, if I do it, it's guaranteed to work and if it doesn't work it means I didn't do it right. Oh help.

I know it is about being -- about realizing that God wants us to come to him just as we are (where's the scripture for that?). There is nothing more comforting than being around people who accept you -- people who don't ask you to change in order to be their friends. People who don't want you to be smarter, prettier, funnier, better. People who just enjoy your company. People who like you for who you are. That's how God is. I believe this and you'd think that knowing this would make me want to spend time with him. I long to spend time with the people that I know who treat me this way. I might even say I yearn for this. Of course, in this case it is people with whom I don't have the opportunity to spend the time I'd like to spend. Is that why I yearn for it -- because I can't have it? or is it because it truly is so special? or some combination (most likely)? However, I always have this opportunity with God -- I just don't take it. Am I afraid? Afraid I'm wrong? Afraid I might have to change?

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